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Randall

Here comes Randall in his Hiace van
He's killed a thousand asses with the jawbone of a man
He's looking in his mirror as he brushes down his hair
He's the deadest man alive but he doesn't care
He rolls gunpowder cigarettes with his bare hands
He's written seven thousand books and they've all been banned
He goes naked in public and all the people point and stare
They've excommunicated him but he doesn't care

And when he's on his way, the girls all say ...

Here comes Randall

I first met Randall when I was a little lass
Pissing in his petrol tank to make his van go fast
He's bitter and he's twisted and he plays a mean guitar
He's sixteen hundred years of age and never met his da
Randall came to Wexford back in 1984
He's taken the Loreto girls and turned them into whores
Everybody laughs at him but secretly they're all scared
Everybody's emigrating off to anywhere

And when he's on his way, the girls all say ...

Here comes Randall

Hey Ronald McDonald these french fries taste like shit
And how the hell did you get your meat to smell like this?
The dye from your tomatoes is staining my teeth red
And your burger buns they give me the runs, beat me up and leave me for dead.

Hey Mr.Jones I think your son is heading for a fall,
He's eating sweets that rot his teeth and playing with his balls.
He's changed his name, he's acting strange, he's known all over town,
He's hanging round in restaurants looking like a clown.